Simple Dreams

The risk of Internet hosted images

2010-08-08T19:02:00.002+10:00

Just today it came to my attention that one of the internet hosted images i had for one of my posts got corrupted ... just want to apologise for any offense it may have caused, i will be more careful with internet images from now on.

A moment

2010-06-27T18:09:00.002+10:00

Mad Rush

2010-05-25T22:54:00.003+10:00

The lack of online presence in the past few months can be attributed to the simple yet profound reality that I currently find myself in.

I'm actually studying properly for the first time ... possibly ever!

It comes as a wonder that I managed to finish with a bachelor degree in pharmacy without ever having studied properly in my previous 5 years of tertiary education, but I did somehow.

And with proper study, comes proper procrastination, which is where you find me now. Brain has crept towards saturation point, eyes are drying out from the air-conditioned environment and I feel like I'm entitled to reward myself with some blog time ~

To the question of end of semester mad rush studying ... I've experienced this on numerous occasions throughout my tertiary education (yes, I crammed as opposed to regularly doing work throughout the semester... hence never having studied properly). It seems that every semester, students from all different faculties will unite with the purpose of hours upon hours of procrastination sandwiched between bouts of cramming and visits to refectories and benches for "procrastinary" scene changes.

Now I'm just talking rubbish and procrastination time has ended ... back to reading on titles given to Roman Emperors of the Julio-Claudian era!

Can't wait for holidays :)

I owe it to JC

2010-04-07T20:01:00.002+10:00

Everything that I am,

All that I have,

I owe it all to You,

I owe it all to You Jesus ...

Thank You that Your death on the cross covers a multitude of sin. Thank You for the cross that takes away all my guilt and shame! You paid the ultimate price so that I may be redeemed ...

I owe it all to You JESUS !

My Strength and my Guide

2010-03-29T16:51:00.002+10:00

The Lord is my strength and my song, he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, he is my father's God and I will exalt him.

Exodus 15:2

Thank You for watching over me and protecting me from the enemy (and myself). I pray that You'll continue to be my strength and my guide, all the days of my life !

Times like these

2010-03-27T10:23:00.002+10:00

Remind me of just how much God is looking after me!

I'll continue to surrender my life and my plans to Him, and rely on Him for everything :)

Thank You Jesus !

Awesome Things :)

2010-02-24T22:52:00.002+10:00

My Google phone because it does everything I need it to do AND more ! (gtalk direct to phone anybody ?)

Living by myself because I have freedom of space and time to think and do my work and study!

Going to bible college because I get to spend time studying about God, His church and from His word !

Mum because she loves me and looks after me no matter how crappy I am as a son ~

Prayer because it's personal, powerful and calming :) thank You Jesus for the great privilege and for answering prayer :)

God, need I say more ?

Casting Crowns

2010-01-25T00:43:00.003+10:00

The twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives forever and ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to recieve glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being"
Revelation 4:10-11

I just came home from a week long training conference, clobbered and smashed in the face (not literally but figuratively) by verses such as the one above ...

Casting crowns - What does it mean to cast our crown, what's the significance of the twenty-four elders doing so in John's revelation ? In short, a crown represents all that is significant and important to the being of the wearer - in our case as man, asian, Christian ... our crowns are the things that give us meaning, all the things that amount to us, who we are. So to cast our crown before the Lord (the risen Jesus Christ) is to lay down all that we are before Him.

Over the past month and a bit, God's carefully, graciously and patiently broken me down piece by piece, almost prying the crowns (that I so proudly wore on my head) out of my clenched hands (a fist perhaps ?). And though it may FEEL like I don't have many crowns left to cast before him, I know that there are still things I haven't layed down before him.

I pray that God will dig a little deeper and humble me by taking away these last crowns that I still wear ... knowingly and unknowingly ~

Realisation

2010-01-12T23:01:00.003+10:00

It's taken a while, but I think I had a light bulb moment tonight ~

I'll test it out tomorrow and MAYBE ... I'll tell you the results ... MAYBE ~

Pause-Rewind-Play

2010-01-09T07:18:00.003+10:00

Now that I get to slow down, sit still and reflect, I begin to realize just how sovereign God is, just how intricate his plan for my life is. Bit by bit, one by one, slowly but surely He strips away the things that I turn to for comfort, fulfillment, satisfaction - to show me that He is all that I have, all that I need.

See, it's funny (and sad at the same time) that as humans, we can't let go of our lives (and surrender) until we come to grips with the reality and truth - We can try and labour all we want, trying to build ourselves up and improve but in the end, only God knows the blueprint for our lives and therefore how to build upon the foundation He laid (the Gospel of salvation). God is the master builder, we're just here to marvel at the beauty of his work!

Never before have the words from Matthew 6:33 made more sense to me

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

There we have it friends, a 'secret' to contentment ~ now to apply it in life!

Pause

2010-01-07T00:46:00.003+10:00

Have I been able to let go ?

Have I started to move forward again ?

Questions, questions and more questions in my head ~

Why is it that I have to fall so much before I realize the reality of all that's happened ?

I need to go to some secluded place and have quiet time !

There is no end ...

2010-01-01T23:56:00.002+10:00

It's probably too much to ask, but can I get just a little bit of a break ? One after another ... life dramas come ~ I'm tired ... but at the same time I'm thankful and excited 2010 is here ! New year = New Start !

bring it on ... ?

No Rest

2009-12-28T20:09:00.000+10:00

For the wicked huh ?

such is life ... u can't win ... just gotta put ur head down and push through...

there's much to learn here ... time to retire and reflect~

Feeling

2009-12-27T23:38:00.002+10:00

You ever get a feeling that you're living your life completely oblivious to something that's happening right behind your back ... everybody else know about it, they can see it so clearly, and yet you have absolutely no idea ?

hahaha ... unfortunately i get that feeling a lot ~ Maybe I'm just paranoid ?

Recently I've had the privilege of opening up my home to people for dinner parties, hangouts and chilling out ~ And I have to say ... I'm coming to a greater appreciation of what it takes to be hospitable ... it's actually not as easy as it seems ?

I've much to learn ~ Much to submit to God ... there's ALWAYS something to be learnt ... the question is, am I trying to learn at all ?

Christmas, Slip ups, Resolutions

2009-12-27T00:26:00.002+10:00

Christmas has come and gone ...

I've moved and settled into my new home ...

I've slipped up a few times ...

I'm resolved to get through this the right way ~!

Preaching tomorrow ... so I should be sleeping ><

Red Bull

2009-12-16T15:51:00.004+10:00

The unexpected is bound to happen ~

Nothin quite like a 335ml can of Red Bull, a day off and hanging out with brothers ~

I think God is saying "Be Still and know that I Am God"

You Win
I've been trying to do it on my own
But now I gotta surrender
You know what's best
I pray that I'll learn my lesson swiftly and be able to retain what I learn ~

Why ask the question

2009-12-16T03:23:00.001+10:00

When you already know the answer? ... 3:22am

Vicious Cycles - time to break it !!

2009-12-12T23:54:00.003+10:00

It's feels like I've been trapped in a vicious cycle of negative feedback ~ One after another negative things kept hitting me in the face, I think it became too much to handle at one point and everything just crumbled away ~

I woke up this morning ... and prayed that God would help me break it. And He did !

So in more positive news ... I'm moving out !! Started packing and moving parts of my life over to my house ... it's all a bit surreal ~ I'm actually doing it! Something I said I'd never do~ God has a great sense of humor!

I didn't realise how much work and effort it took to move houses ... I'm only moving my part of the house ... and I feel like I've got it tough already! Can't imagine what it'd be like for families moving their whole lives from one place to another ~ great respect for them, and put back in my place when I felt like complaining ~

So it's back to zero for my no complaints streak ... seems like I've got a lot to learn in this department ... when testing times came, my resolve wasn't enough to keep me from complaining ... must strengthen my knowledge and reliance on God and His sovereign plan for life - He knows best and I'll never win in a fight against Him ><

9am service tomorrow ... I won't run away, I won't kick up a fuss (try not to anyway) and I'll soldier on with a smile from my heart!

Sorry for causing worry and Thanks for prayers and support ... it means a lot to me !

Life Lessons

2009-12-12T11:06:00.001+10:00

Are hard to learn ~

Even more so when you are as stubborn as me ~

I think I'm learning ...

Slowly ~

There are no winners

2009-12-12T01:45:00.002+10:00

Just can't win ... I do what I wanna do, create a bigger fuss than if I just sucked it up and went along with everything ~

It's all in the perspective ~ Remember big picture, remember what you've seen, remember NOT to complain ...

Just gotta get on with it huh ?

just like that ...

Dirty Tactics

2009-12-12T01:29:00.001+10:00

When you're on the ground ... satan kicks you in the guts while you're down ... dirty tactics

I hate satan and his schemes ~ so petty and stupid ~

我回來了

2009-12-11T10:14:00.001+10:00

that's a bit of a disappointment ... i was so determined to leave ...

再見

2009-12-10T22:21:00.000+10:00

Farewell

I tire easy ...

2009-12-10T00:46:00.002+10:00

Before anybody decides to make a comment on how I should sleep earlier ... I'm not just talking about physical tiredness. I know why I get tired physically.

I'm finding that I'm growing increasingly intolerant to the various dramas and things in life that just grind away at me - Parents, house, relationships with other people, ministry ... a growing list of things that I'm quickly losing endurance in.

I need a REAL day off ... I took a day off today, don't particularly feel refreshed or ready for the rest of the week ><

May God sustain and guide me ~

Fresh

2009-12-09T01:21:00.002+10:00

1:22am

not feeling as fresh as I was a moment ago ... why ?

because I decided to lie down ><

It's been a productive day, not sure if I've done much work though~ But as I lie, ponder and reflect upon the week that's been ... I can't help but wonder how much of what I've done is just merely to create a diversion to the main event.

More time and energy needs to be redirected into prayer ... I need to wake up earlier and set aside time to read God's word, to be still and to LISTEN !!

I pray that God will continue to use situations and things in my life to mold and shape me into the man that he wants me to be, no matter what it takes ... I just want to serve and honor God!

May I never boast except in the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me and I to the world

Galatians 6:14

Feeling Alive

2009-12-06T22:51:00.001+10:00

I love playing sports and coming out the end of it physically trashed ...

in amongst all the pain and tiredness ... I feel somewhat alive !

Good effort tonight boys ~ not bad for first game together after a year hahahha ><

Time Space Continuum

2009-12-05T23:33:00.001+10:00

I'm just thankful for ...

Listening ears
Prayers
Jesus
Life
Sleep

Be Still and Know

2009-12-04T09:11:00.004+10:00

I love God ~ He's there with me during the good times and most definitely during the tough times when things suck and seem to be neverending ...

Woke up in all sorts of pain this morning, I think I'm better able to sympathize with those who aren't 100% physically now that I've experienced this temporary discomfort ... Praise God !

So anyway ... when things seemed gloomy and painful, God reminded me that I'm not alone, reminded me and pointed me to the men around me who I call brothers. For them, I am thankful!

A brother who's been away for a while is back... it's good to have him back ~
Another brother showed love by sharing this song with me ... (I'll just share the lyrics)

I Am God - Kirk Franklin feat.Toby Mac

[Kirk Franklin:] Toby Mac! (huh!) Turn it up!
[Toby Mac:] Kirk, gonna get his white boy on!
[Kirk Franklin:] God, I know You up to something. (uhhh!) I can see it all right now. (woo!) You pulling back my covers. It's getting crazy. (Come on!)

[Verse 1: Kirk Franklin]
Think I'm gonna walk away
You're messing up my life today (wassup)
This time I refuse to pray
Still you keep calling me (calling me)
I don't wanna see your face
The thing I love you erased (Come on!)
Nothing but an empty space
Now I don't know how to be
I know it wasn't right for me. (Yea!)
What you liking what you need.
I feel like I'm in surgery
Still you cut deeper

My secrets within
My blanket of sin
Lord how much longer 'till ya through with me
Please take what you need (Can I get up now!)

[Chorus:]
Be still and know I am God
Be still and know I am God

[Verse 2: Toby Mac]
Loving you Lord is my way
Everything you don't explain
Somethings I don't want to change
So you keep breaking me (There you go!)
It's like I'm fighting for my life (woo!)
You hit me with another light
I feel like Jacob in the night
Won't stop 'till you bless me

My flesh and my will (Yes father!)
Is yours not to kill (To kill!)
Bringing myself to you (Come on!)
But living sacrifice is more (Can I get up now)

[Chorus:]
Be still and know I am God (Gotta know Gotta know Gotta know Gotta know)
Be still and know (yea) I am God(Gotta know Gotta know One more time!)
Be still and know I am God (You are God! You are God! Gotta know! Gotta know!)
Be still (Be still) and know (and know) I am God (yea!)

[Bridge:]
If I could I'd fly away from here
But even when I'm far you still are near
I gotta get out (There's no way out)
Where is there to run(There's no where to run)
Don't go(Don't go)
Don't go (Can't go)
No! No! No! (Whoa!)

[Kirk Franklin:]
You win. (uh huh!)
I've been trying to do it on my own. (Yes Lord!)
But right now I gotta surrender.
You know what's best. (Say it like you mean it!)
It's not easy waiting on you.
It's not easy believing that you got this together.
But without faith it is impossible to please you. (We recognize you!)
So I'm gonna stand right here. (We are still before you!)
You got me. (We are still before you!) You got me. You got me.

[Chorus:]
Be still and know (we know!) I am God (We gonna lift those hands. I surrender to your authority God! I surrender!)
Be still (we're still!) and know (we know!) I am God (I give you my will)(Gotta know! Gotta! know! Gotta know!)
Be still (I'm yours!) and know (we know!) (I'm yours!) I am God (I'm tired of living on my own! I'm tired of living on my own!)
Be still and know (we know!) I am God (You are God!)

AWESOME !

Stubborn Old Man

2009-12-04T01:20:00.005+10:00

Once there lived a man who lived a 'normal' life, worked a 'normal' job, lived in a 'normal' house. Perhaps the only thing not so 'normal' about this man was his stubbornness and refusal to take NO as an answer.

What will come of this Stubborn fool ? Only time will tell, Only God knows the answer to that Question ~

hahaha ... don't you just HATE people who just won't take the hint, who won't take your answer for what it is? I've met and interacted with people just like this throughout life's journey and I've said in the past, I'll NEVER become like them, such IDIOTS!!

Who would have thought, that I'd become just like them - Stubborn. I guess it's not hard to imagine, I am after all just a man - sinful, broken and in a nutshell, messed up.

Thanks be to God who is Sovereign and loves us and has a perfect plan for us !

ps. Very encouraged to see all who turned up for the first rehearsal/meeting for Christmas Outreach Program 09 ! lots to pray for and about :)

Where ...

2009-12-03T00:45:00.001+10:00

Patience meets Virtue
Joy meets Grief
Peace meets Frustration
Rubber meets Tarmac
Clarity meets Puzzlement

and so it is ~

my ears are still ringing and my head is thumping ~ lets see how the night goes ... another day awaits tomorrow!

Back to Life

2009-12-01T23:18:00.002+10:00

Since 6am this morning ... I've been back to life ~

It was good to go away for a little while ~ helped give me a lot of time to read and pray ... clarity and peace of mind to do it and absorb!

Thankful for the timely reminder of time apart for God ~

Theory

2009-11-29T01:11:00.003+10:00

Live from Japan ~

It's been a hectic few days, lots of walking, eating, seeing stuff, sign languaging ... it's been fun !

something that we've noticed while we've been here is ... the meals are actually quite big !! and looking around when we're at restaurants, petite little Jap girls order and DOMINATE the same meals that leave me feeling dominated ><

My sister came up with a theory: Jap people (especially girls) don't usually eat, so when they do eat, they go all out !

I dunno ... what do you think ?

Face Palm

2009-11-23T17:37:00.002+10:00

Excuse me while I face palm myself ~

And that's how it is ~ Tmr is beginning of 1 week of holiday ! Looking forward to going away for a while ... I need it !

AHHHHHHHHH

2009-11-22T23:33:00.003+10:00

I feel like screaming, but I won't because that'd just be silly ~ instead I'll scream into cyberspace and pretend that it's all good ~~

In all seriousness though ~ it is all good. It's times like these when you begin to truely appreciate the fact that God really is in control of your life!

Prayer Time !!

2009-11-17T23:40:00.002+10:00

I didn't realize how hard Satan tries to distract/discourage us from praying till tonight. So subtle and sneaky !!

Very thankful God didn't give up on me or the prayer meeting and I ended up going to church in spite of the looming storm (with hindsight, what was I thinking when I thought a little rain was enough to stop God's people from gathering to pray!?)

The night turned out great, it was a huge encouragement to see those who came along. We had no real agenda, no real plan, just the basics - Christians gathering together, sharing, singing, praying. That's all you need to start a "Prayer Meeting"! It's not really even a meeting, it was more FELLOWSHIP !!

I love Jesus and I'm constantly humbled by the work that He's doing in my life and in the lives of those around me!

Simple Things

2009-11-16T23:37:00.001+10:00

I'm sure I've titled a post with this b4 ... but it's as true as last time ~

it's the simple things that make life pleasant and enjoyable!

things like ... Sleep ... which I'm in need of now :P

What's life coming to ?!

2009-11-15T23:47:00.003+10:00

Got home at 10 something tonight ... sat in front of tv by 11 and started playing borderlands but only lasted like 30 mins ><

What's life coming to ... too tired to game ?!!?

MUST be that thing they call 'aging' ~

Confronted

2009-11-14T23:26:00.002+10:00

Tonight, I've been confronted (in a helpful and thought provoking manner) about the socially stigmatized issue of homosexuality.

Now I think to myself ... what's the appropriate and godly response as a Christian?

I don't have the answers to that, but I'll keep thinking about it ~ If you got any thoughts on the issue yourself, do share !

In the meantime, I should sleep and rest up for Church tmr!

It's Funny

2009-11-12T00:54:00.003+10:00

It's funny to see how things in life pan out ~

Was just thinking tonight ... IF I didn't come here tonight, I wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't have seen these people, I wouldn't have etc etc.

Often times in life when you're in the thick of it all and rushing about, you often miss out on the finer details and notice how cool life is when you think about how you got to where you are now ...

I love Jesus and He is more than just cool!

I'll continue to trust Him with my life ~

Resolute - Take 2

2009-11-10T14:13:00.002+10:00

After an epic night, and solid fellowship ... I'm up, resolved and ready to face the 'big bad world' again!

I'll continue to try going on the offense by praying for non Christians and other people whenever I'm tempted or distracted ~

I'll soldier on and try to stay focused on the things I have going on in my life ... most importantly on The Cross and what it means for me !

Inhibitions

2009-11-10T03:40:00.001+10:00

There are none at 3:41am ...

it's when sharing is at it's peak~

Reminder

2009-11-09T01:36:00.002+10:00

I've been reminded this week, just how blessed I am, and how much support and encouragement is around me ALL THE TIME !

I love you guys and I thank God that you're all in my life :) I look forward to many more years of fellowship and friendship with you all till Christ returns ~

A Real Man

2009-11-05T23:27:00.002+10:00

Doesn't wait till all the answers are given to him before he steps out in faith.

Lets see if I've got what it takes to be a Christ-built man ~

Just like any other day

2009-11-04T23:59:00.003+10:00

It happens once a year ...

some make a big deal out of it ...

some consider it a milestone ...

but to me ... it's just like any other day ~

Peace and Quiet

2009-11-03T18:45:00.003+10:00

Sometimes I wonder if it's too much to ask for some peace and quiet. Not so much physical peace and quiet ... but peace and quiet in my head (if that makes sense ?)

I'm a bit of a thinker, and I tend to think a lot about ... well everything! So I've become quite accustomed to thinking about stuff throughout the day and even into the night and been ok with it. But recently, some of the stuff I've been thinking about hasn't been as ok, it's been a bit of a distraction for me and I've been praying hard for God to show me only what is from Him and not what is from the desires of my flesh (excuse the terminology). I don't know whether it's been because I've been too stubborn and stupid to listen to God or whether I've just been out distracted by the thoughts, but it hasn't been working out so good for me.

So after hanging out with Iggs yesterday and hearing him share about a new technique to fight temptations and distractions, I tried it out! Basically it's to start praying for non Christian family and friends whenever I'm tempted or distracted by anything. The reasoning behind this 'method' is that, satan hates it when Christians pray for non believers to be saved, so it'll throw him off when we start praying for our non believing family and friends while we're being tempted and distracted!

Dunno if it all makes sense to you, but it's working pretty good for me so praise God !

Would it be weird ...

2009-11-02T00:16:00.006+10:00

If usted es el que está para mí ?

I love the spanish language ... even though I don't understand a word of it hahahaha

it's been a smashing weekend and I'm all broken physically, but it was worth it ! bring on the recovery ~~

Tongue Tied

2009-11-01T00:22:00.002+10:00

That was me tonight, not that I'm usually that eloquent in speech ... tonight was just especially bad.

Sisters ... I truely am encouraged and thankful for the blessings that you've brought to our lives ... I just wasn't able to express it very clearly!

Now is time to rest and sleep ... I pray that I'll be able to continue to serve my sisters every day, not just once every 3 years like tonight!

Paint Spray

2009-10-29T17:41:00.003+10:00

Been painting at my house this past week ~ did the ceilings today and discovered 2 things

1. Painting ceilings gives a complete upper body workout !
2. You get highlighted tips for your hair also ... usually white ><"

Thank God the weather held out all day today and concrete has been layed :D

More renovation goodness to come !

Doing the "Right Thing"

2009-10-21T23:06:00.001+10:00

Who's to say what the right thing is ?

There are too many grey areas in life ~~

I need to finish my prayer schedule and get stuck into it...

Fatigue + ESL = LOL

2009-10-13T07:34:00.003+10:00

I wrote an email out last night at like midnight ...

instead of saying somebody's fiance, I said finances ><

I did spend the whole night talking finances with my parents though ... so go figure ?

Another new day, late storm on the horizon, dust storm the day after ~ I shall rejoice and be glad in it !

Dirt Roll

2009-10-11T23:59:00.003+10:00

Ever have those days when you just feel horrible, and everything else you do/say/share etc just makes you feel even more like dirt ? With lots of reflection, I think today was one of those days for me ... it's a truely humbling experience, once again to realise that you're really not all that.

Back to square one ~ Thank God He's so patient with me!

Digg

2009-10-08T11:10:00.004+10:00

I have tree roots going into the side of my house ... lifting and cracking some brick work >< In a bid to save money ... I tried to dig them out myself ! Now I don't know if it was such a good idea ...

After spending my Monday trying to dig a trench around the front of my house, I have so much more respect for manual laborers now! (not that I didn't respect them before ...) For I don't know how many hours, I felt like I was chipping into rock coz the clay ground was so hard ... and I was stuffed after like 20 minutes of digging, I don't know how they keep it up all day ...

Also learnt that you need to have the right tools to do this kind of work ... you can't dig up tree roots with just a shovel and a gardening fork ... you need a pick axe of sorts and other swinging implements coupled with good hack and slash techniques ~

Also faced the harsh reality of having no help from mates coz I picked a bad time to dig ... I'll try that again another day (recruiting help that is ....)

The bruises and blisters on my hands have recovered now ... I have a 'spare' moment, maybe I'll get back into the digging ~~

ps. it's been so long since I've blogged I feel like a retard trying to articulate myself ... have my literacy skills diminished over time with lack of practice ?

The Calm before a Storm

2009-10-04T22:16:00.002+10:00

It's been a while ... I've been BUSY with life and living and facebooking I guess ~

So anyway, you know the calm before a storm ? Like just before a huge storm hits, there's always this period of peacefulness, and calm, an errie kind of peace and calm ... like it's too peaceful to be true.

That's what this past week has felt like ... things were peaceful and calm after a hectic period and much drama throughout the year so far. It was too good to be true ~

I feel like saying that I was right, but then I'm probably just being sensitive and over dramatic as usual ~ So lets ride it out and see how we go instead.

Resolute

2009-08-14T00:25:00.003+10:00

Confrontations - over

Heart - Resolved

I grew weary of this ongoing saga ... time to move on I hope

I just want to get on with the rest of my life and focus on the REAL prize - That crown of righteousness ~

Taking Out The Trash

2009-08-13T19:15:00.001+10:00

I did something I thought I'd chicken out of, and i'm glad i didn't. Maybe now things can be resolved...?

Bench Under The Tree

2009-08-13T15:19:00.001+10:00

Relocation time ... This has to be one of the more relaxing and enjoyable days off I've had all year. Thanks God!

Day Off

2009-08-13T13:28:00.001+10:00

1st day back in Bris after NZ snow adventure means recovery day off! Decided to chill out at New Farm Park by the river~ Thank God for awesome weather, clear skies and green grass!

And so I live my life ~

2009-08-13T07:38:00.005+10:00

Just got home from my long awaited holiday to NZ, the snow and I had a great time. 8 Days, 3 mountains, 10 great friends, 1500km driven ... loads of fun !

So anyways, almost without fail, we'd have awesome time together everyday, either reading and sharing passages from the bible or sharing our stories with one another (coz we didn't know everybody as well as everybody else ?). The testimonial sharing was encouraging because God's working in each individual's live was so evidant (I get the feeling my english and grammar abilities have somehow gone down the drain in these past few weeks ... but bear with me please ?)

I remember sitting there a few nights ago listening to some of the guys and girls share their stories and thinking about my own. What would I say if I was asked to share my story ? I knew the chances were slim because everybody either knew it or didn't really care too much about it. But I thought about it anyway, looking back into my life searching for changes that have occurred since becoming a Christian.

There are definitely things that have changed about me that are an encouragement to reflect upon. Like I used to swear and drink a lot, but now I've dropped the swearing and learnt how to be responsible with alcohol. I used to not have any idea what I wanted to or was going to do with my life, but now I've got a pretty clear mind on what I want to do and where I want to go with my life.

But there are also things in my life that haven't been so uplifting and encouraging, because as I looked back and reflected upon life, I realised I haven't changed much at all. Near the base of ALL my major 'life-crisis' problems has been a girl ... (sure, different girls over the course of time, but only ever one at a time). In too many ways, this hasn't changed much even today. A lot of my frustrations, temper issues, fits of jealous rage ... all because of a girl.

None of it makes sense, because it's not as if I want anything out of relationships with girl(s) other than friendship, and yet I seem to care so much that I just end up getting frustrated. Maybe I'm just socially inept or a bit of a retard ~ Maybe I'm too negative for my own good, too direct and honest for anybody to really enjoy holding a conversation with me.

Who knows ? Life's a journey and I'm still walking on ~ Maybe I'll change after this round of reflection ...

Communication

2009-07-19T01:00:00.002+10:00

A mentor of mine mentioned to me recently that from observations, I needed to work on my communication skills. I tend not to be very active in social conversations. I disagreed and responded by telling my mentor how much pride I'd placed in my ability to socialize.

I think tonight was more than enough face slapping proof to show me that I'm not nearly as good as I am when it comes to the social settings. I oft catch myself in awkward conversations or killing conversations with my lack of ... things to say ...

I've a long way to go in being able to connect with people. I thought for a while that I was pretty good at connecting with my peers, I'm not so sure anymore. Though I do know ... I need to work on and expand my range and ability to communicate with the people around me ...

But I trust that by responding to God's call for me to serve Him (and his people) in this way, He'll provide all that I need in order to be equipped to do so ~

END RANT ... time to sleep~

Yeah I'll have a bit...

2009-07-07T16:15:00.001+10:00

Sister asked me if I'd have ice cream with her and I said yes, but only a bit... This is what she got me ><' I wonder what'd happen if I'd said a lot :-P

Only In Sydney...

2009-07-05T17:22:00.001+10:00

Will you get stuck in traffic @ 4:30 in the afternoon ><'... Turned out there were ambulance and police on the roadside... Hope everybody was ok~ On the way home now... Pray for a safe drive thanks!

Catch Up

2009-07-03T11:32:00.001+10:00

So after experiencing crazy morning Sydney traffic... And catching up on some much needed power sleep, I'm awake, waiting for the shower and ready to play! It's so windy and cold here right now ><" so glad i brought my ski jacket!

Stressful much!

2009-07-03T06:57:00.001+10:00

6:53am... We've finally made it through the insane sydney morning traffic. Who would have thought there'd be traffic travelling at 110kmph with you... 50km out from sydney?! I'm so tired rite now i'm ready to collapse ><' very thankful to still be alive! Thanks for prayers... Update after some serious sleep action~

Kempsey @ 1:30am

2009-07-03T01:38:00.001+10:00

We're a little past halfway on our epic drive down to sydney for Jay Chou and a weekend away... Another update when we arrive~

Blue Hand

2009-07-02T23:59:00.001+10:00

Played tennis with Nan and Lisa just now... Looked at my hand after a while and found it'd changed colour! Talk about dodgy tennis grip >< but I guess it is about 10yrs old...

Blue Hand

2009-06-30T16:53:00.001+10:00

Played tennis with Nan and Lisa just now... Looked at my hand after a while and found it'd changed colour! Talk about dodgy tennis grip >< but I guess it is about 10yrs old...

Dinner @ home !

2009-06-15T19:17:00.001+10:00

This is what i've been missing for the past i don't know how long... Mum made cha siu 2day YUM! Thank God for eating @ home~

Fishing Adventure

2009-06-08T10:02:00.001+10:00

We left at 6:30 for our Queen's birthday fishing Adventure code named "cricket". All was fine and well, the weather was great and the conditions were favourable...but don't let the serene settings fool u, we've been snagged a few times already and i want to go home, watch the game, chill out~

呃自己

2009-06-07T23:19:00.002+10:00

有時候真係好蠢。。。可以呃自己咁耐。。。

真係冇用。。。掘個窿匿埋算吧 ><"

But can't we just pretend just for a little while ?

The most obvious place ...

2009-06-07T23:01:00.004+10:00

I was looking for this ...and was devestated when I couldn't find it ><

Then I was reminded to retrace my steps, look for it in obvious 'hidden' places ... and behold ...

I found it in the green jacket I'd worn the last time I used my ipod ... it was right in front of me the whole time ><"

I'm going to go and reflect the frailty of humanity now ~

It's a public holiday tomorrow ~ ah the joys ~

冇眼睇 ... 繼續行~

2009-06-07T19:44:00.003+10:00

This has absolutely nothing to do with the lakers-magic finals series ~ But I thought it was a good representation of my inner being at the moment ... Just feel like burying my head into my hands and just ...

Lets just leave it at that hey ?

Sometimes all you just have to put your head down and grind it out ... well Pray ... then put head down and grind it out ~

Becareful what you ask for from God ... coz he gives it to you ! Sometime last year, I prayed and asked God to change me and make me into the man that he wants me to become ... no matter what it takes !

I can't bear to watch (冇眼睇)... just gotta keep walking (繼續行)~

Hyper in a can

2009-06-06T10:58:00.001+10:00

750ml of pure 'energy'... Mao brought this out of his fridge the other week and put us all to shock with it's sheer volume >< (we ended up sharing it between like 3-4ppl come it actually tasted alrite, just potent...we went on to study till 2am that nite... So beware!)

The Move

2009-06-04T23:24:00.002+10:00

... It's begun ...

The much dreaded moving of my online life from hotmail/ms to gmail/google ...

i'm surprised and slightly shocked at just how well integrated all the google apps really are !! I've yet to test everything out, but in terms of helping me manage my life a bit better, it's doing pretty good so far ~ I'll test it out in the coming days, weeks, months as I wait for the impending move to smartphones !!

Today has been a productive day off ... back to work tmr !!

(I think I've typed enough chinese in the past few days to last me the rest of the year ... gonna retire it for a while ... maybe next time I use it again, I won't need to be corrected by my cousin :P)

想太多

2009-06-03T15:07:00.005+10:00

有時候我覺得自己真的在想的太多了。。。很簡單的事都可以變成很複雜。。。

都是應為我有一顆驕傲的心。。。

就像人家對我說覺得我做的事有問題﹐說我做的不好﹐說我沒有智慧。我的心很快就會變硬而不想再聽他要說的話。。。就是應為我覺得他們根本就不了解我﹐不明白我﹐只是針對我﹐辜負我...這樣下去很快本來一件很簡單的事就變很複雜﹐很麻煩。直到經過一段時間﹐跟很多人討論過這事情﹐慢慢靜下來﹐用時間想一想事情的原故﹐就會發現原來你無無為為大吵了一篇。

就看看最近的批評 - 問題不是對錯而是應不應該。誰可以肯定說那是對那是錯?但是我=就偏偏抓住人家說我不對的地方﹐不肯放開﹐不肯接受他的意見﹐不肯停下來檢討自己是不是有雖要改的地方。只覺得很煩﹐一直在猜他怎麼要這樣說﹐完全忘了做基督徒的基本原則 : 盡心﹐盡性﹐盡意愛主- 我的神。還有愛人如己。我太驕傲了﹐覺得我比別人好﹐覺得我是對的。結果都是我錯了﹐但不因為是我做錯事而是因為我太驕傲﹐ 忘了耶穌教我是重要的事。。。><

做人就是這樣﹐偏偏就是要經過磨煉才學到應學的課。我思考很多次 : 為什麼我們不可以會學很容易﹐很簡單的課

再說。。。沒有神的指導的話,我們根本就沒有辦法學到什麼。。。所以到最終﹐都只可以感謝神對我們的恩典和愛護!

我用中文寫因為覺得比較容易表達自己~情多多見諒﹐多多包涵! <~~(Rough translation) I used chinese because I feel like I could express myself better~please forgive!

Long Day

2009-06-01T04:11:00.002+10:00

Have you ever had such a long day that it feels like it's been 2 days since the happenings from the morning ?

Today was like that ... now I'm winding down ... and reflecting out ~

Why fight for what doesn't desire attention ?
Why we do the things we do ...
What gives us significance ?

It's early, I should be waking soon ...

Study ?

2009-05-31T21:35:00.002+10:00

9:55pm ... here we are ~

The centerpiece ... Mr.sheep ... supervising all ~

Perfume ...

2009-05-29T16:04:00.003+10:00

The man version is called Cologne ... makes one smell 'nicer' than others ~

Today a conversation went something along the lines of ...

Mr.Universe: I'm so hungry
Perfumed man: Why ?
Me: Coz he hasn't eaten yet
Mr.Universe: Yeah that and because of your perfume, smells so ... nice ~
Me: Wait, are you saying He smells so good you want to EAT him ??
*Mr.Universe doesn't deny or put up a fight*
Perfumed man (to Mr.Universe): You're so gay ... ><

Cologne (aka Perfume) makes Mr.Universe HUNGRY ... like MAN-EATING HUNGRY !!! >< beware :P

YUM !

2009-05-29T00:41:00.001+10:00

Mum made dessert tonight :D

EPIC

2009-05-28T18:23:00.001+10:00

A grueling 20hr+ wrestle ... God has blessed me with a draft of a talk on Romans 3:21-26 ~

Now to learn and practice it !!

stuck ...

2009-05-27T01:48:00.000+10:00

Mental blank ...

no progress for 36 hours >< this is bad ...

Records

2009-05-26T13:43:00.000+10:00

I broke all sorts of records last night ...

slept at 10pm !!
slept for 13/14 hours !!

Now i'm awake ... hungry, disorientated and distracted ><

Still need to do many many things ~ Like embracing the life of a ministry man with JOY !!

Communication

2009-05-25T13:37:00.003+10:00

Preparing a talk on Romans 3:21-26 ...

I think I have an OK grasp on the content of the passage ... now the challenge is how to communicate this to a group of apathetic teenagers ?

Need to pray and meditate more upon the words ~

But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because inhis divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

BLT Plus 2009: Fueling the Fire

2009-05-21T19:12:00.001+10:00

BLT Plus 2009: Fueling the Fire

Date: August 21-23, 2009... mark these dates in your diary!

"To love God with all our heart" is what we are commanded to do,

and yet, often our heart seems untouched, unmoved and hard as rock.

Christianity often comes across as being all head and no heart.

As well as this, ministry is often something we do because we have to,

rather than something that flows from the heart.
Life and ministry has dried up and is lifeless.

Andrew Hong will address the heart of the matter which is the heart.

He will speak on the "heart" of our life and service for God.

In doing so, we hope that we will "fuel the fire" in people's hearts.

There are now three strands being offered:

* Strand 1: Uni/Grad Workers

* Strand 2: Workers

* Strand 3: Prime Timers

Location:

Currimundi Recreation Centre

Currimundi Rd, Currimundi, QLD

Speaker: Andrew Hong

Normal Price: $95 (closes 7th August, 2009)

Early Bird: $85 (closes 24th June, 2009)

BLT Plus 2009 Registration Open Now! Click here to go register!

Where Amazing Happens ...

2009-05-15T22:58:00.002+10:00

Game 6 Western conference semifinals with Lakers leading the series 3-2

Rockets turn up the heat with little guy Aaron Brooks in the lead to finish:

Rockets 95 d Lakers 80

NBA ... where Amazing happens ! WOOT ! GO ROCKETS !!!

Weddings ~

2009-05-02T23:25:00.002+10:00

I went to a wedding today ~ the groom broke the ice with a very keen and unprompted "I Do!" even before the minister had asked anything :P

Good times, though wedding ceremonies always seem the same, like all the photos you ever take from weddings all turn out somewhat the same - People are dressed up nicely and big cheesy smiles, and the background always has lots of random people (not boneheads ><) and the same backdrop of the inside of a church (surprise surprise !)

So it got me starting to entertain the thought of my own wedding (no I'm not getting married any time soon ... I don't think anyway !). Talking to my boy stryke13, he pointed out how post ceremony photo shoots were silly, and that at his own wedding he'll make the people who want photos to come hunt him down "screw standing around the whole time". And he came up with an ingenious plan to help smooth the process and make it more entertaining for himself - get all the different groups to line up against different parts of the walls and he'll go around to each group !

That got me thinking about what a wedding was all about - a number of my friends have gotten engaged and planning their own weddings in recent months. Some have been stressed out and worried about everything to do with their weddings, others seem a little too laid back to be getting married. Some demand perfection on their 'special day', they've laid out extravagant plans for how to enter the church, what to wear, who to invite, how they want photos done etc etc ... Pardon the bluntness, but at the end of the day, isn't a wedding, just a wedding, just a wedding ? When all the excitement and buzz of the day wear off, most people present won't even remember what happened on the day let alone what you're wearing and how the ceremony played out exactly.

As long as you get married right ?

Something to think about I guess ~ I get the feeling that the wife to be often has the biggest say in how the wedding day pans out ~ is that right ladies ?

Confessions of a Reformed Dreamer

2009-05-01T01:15:00.002+10:00

Standing on the other side of the airport, waving goodbye to mum got me thinking about things ~ Just about how things have been in my life recently. Lots and lots of people interactions in these past few months. No surprise really, coz it's my job ! But in amongst all it all, interactions with my friends have caught my attention. It appears I'm not nearly as sensitive and caring as I'd like to think I am.

Though I do seem to have some leadership influence on those around me (people follow me and listen to what I have to say ?), I have an unpleasant tendency to lash out at people with the bluntest of comments/opinions, which surprise surprise, hurts people. As a direct result of this, I'm finding I don't have many, if any 'Close' friends. Apart from Jesus, I have no 'Best' friends. Most of my friends seem to keep an arms distance from me (Except for a few who leave me very little personal space ><), probably from fear of my unpredictable outbursts.

I've been a Christian for, this would be my 9th year running but I probably haven't really understood what it's all about till these past few years. And yet, I still seem to be living multiple lives - Family, Church, Play, Sports ~ they're all me, yet all different. There's no consistency. I'm afraid I'm probably one of the biggest hypocrites around as I demand consistency from my leaders, and yet have failed to produce very much myself.

So back to interactions with friends. Due to my unpredictable and unpleasant lashing outs, most if not all my friends keep a fairly safe distance from me. Some omit telling me things from me, perhaps in fear I'll take it the wrong way, others are too scared to confront me about things maybe in fear I'll lash out at them for doing so and there are probably many others whom I call friends who interact with me with some hesitancy for reasons unknown to me.

The natural and somewhat incorrect response to all of this would be to cry out for 'Justice' for the people keeping me at a safe distance to step out into the 'light' and confront me face on with what they have against me. Amusingly, this is exactly what somebody demanded when I approached them about some reservations people (including myself) had about their character and motives. My response (in my mind) at the time was - you've completely missed the point !

And now that I have had a little time to reflect upon my own life and my own struggles and issues, I've come to realise I too have completely missed the point. People are keep me an arms length away because there's obviously something wrong with the way I'm conducting myself around them. Instead of moping around and having a big cry about how nobody asks me how I'm going or calls me up to meet up with me because I'm not being met up with by anybody, I need to reflect upon my own character and my own motives.

And at the end of the day I think I really need to ask God to help me do something about this temper/short fuse problem that I have on certain things in my life ... family being a big one (unfortunately).

So after all that, to everybody whom I call friend, I still do ~ I'm sorry if I've either knowingly or unknowingly damaged our relationship. You deserve better. I will be better ! (Corny line from Hancock, but it keep repeating in my mind whenever I think of my shortcomings ~)

Letting Go ~

2009-04-30T22:43:00.003+10:00

Sometimes you just gotta let it go ~ but it's so hard !! I've been trying for so long >< spikes of success and failures. More recently it's been succeeding, but not without hiccups along the way ... it's that stubborn human pride that I have so much of ~ Forgive me

It'll take time ... activating VSA will help ? Maybe ... maybe not ~ only time will tell.

Just watched X-Men Origin: Wolverine, and it was alright entertaining value when you have $6.50 vouchers for 4 adults ! Mr.MK who watched a leaked online version earlier came to watch the legit one to pay his dues and was somewhat disappointed in the result ~ Have to admit though ... heavily CG movies are actually full of stupid little flaws, mostly on the actors part - moving their hand in the wrong direction causing the CG to look crappy or little sound mismatches ><

Maybe we've just been spoilt with exceptional quality - Thinkin Transformers 2 trailer ... mmm now THAT's some eye candy :P (now I just sound like a nerd ><)

On another slightly sad and sobering note ... Mum's leaving tonight for the pearl of the orient for 12 days ~ Grandfather ain't doin so well (acute kidney failure, gangrene, rapid drop in memory function ... acute aging ??) so she's going to see him for a bit while he can still recognise people and before he passes away. Pray for Him guys ~ He doesn't quite know Jesus yet ...

Finishing up on a slightly lighter note - it's time to go for a drive ! I love my new Satin Silver CL9 ... it's so shiny and smooth feeling ~ God looks after me - ALWAYS !!

Have you ever ...

2009-04-29T08:27:00.002+10:00

Closed your eyes as you lie in bed, and open them only to find that it's 5 hours later and you don't feel like you've slept at all ?

That happened to me this morning ... far out >< So I got up in the freezing cold and took a leak and tried to go back to bed. Only to hear the sound of the first birds chirping >< how annoying ~! after another hour of rolling around, I decided to give up and got out of bed, read my bible instead ~ Turned out rather rewarding. Read from Numbers and Revelations ... They did some pretty wacked stuff back in the OT days ~ they had a weird test for unfaithfulness of wives ~ check it out in Numbers 5 and let me know what u think !

Now the adrenaline is wearing off and I'm starting to feel drowsy >< Still got the whole day ahead of me !

Epic Fail #1

2009-04-28T12:06:00.002+10:00

After I don't know how long, I think it's finally hit me (hopefully it'll sink and stay). The reason why I'm left alone wallowing in my own problems for so long.

I lash out far too easily, I've hurt those around me who care about me. People will talk to each other about my problems but won't approach me about it because I give an undesirable response. I'm sorry. You deserve better. I will be better. Give me time ~ Believe that God will change me !

Poisoned ... ?

2009-04-28T10:24:00.003+10:00

I woke up this morning, drank from my cup filled with clear liquid expecting to taste sweet sweet water to moisten my dry throat ... only to have the bitterness of BLEACH hit my taste buds !! >< Thankfully, I hadn't swallowed yet and spat it all out with great haste ! Turns out my mother had put bleach into my cup to bleach out the stains and had forgotten all about it ...

Resolve

2009-04-28T00:13:00.000+10:00

This is my resolve ~

I need to sleep earlier and more !

F+

2009-04-24T22:50:00.001+10:00

F = Fail
+ = Epic ><
Therefore
F+ = Epic Fail

The story of my life ~ Thank God for Jesus and salvation through His blood !

Patience

2009-04-23T23:46:00.001+10:00

Some things you just can't rush ~

I got all worked up today about something that didn't eventuate >< End result: I got angry and frustrated at myself for wasting time getting all worked up about something that won't matter come judgment day.

Forgive me and teach me o Lord !

Transition Period

2009-04-22T00:18:00.001+10:00

I feel like I'm going through one of these even though I'm well into my apprenticeship and things have kinda settled down ?

God looks after me ... that's all the matters ~!

Stimulus Package

2009-04-15T00:41:00.000+10:00

Amidst our current economic crisis and recession now a matter of ‘when’ rather than ‘if’, it’s been little surprise that Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s $900 proposed stimulus package has been the talk of the town for many weeks now.

My rough understanding of the proposal is basically that anybody who paid any tax last financial year along with those who get family benefits from Centrelink will be $900 ‘richer’ in the coming weeks. Put in even simpler terms – most Australians will be getting $900 to spend on anything they want without actually having to earn it.

Many people, including myself have been thinking about what to do with this sum of money that we would otherwise not have. Some, like a shop assistant I was talking to the other day have already spent the money on laptops and other gadgets in anticipation of its arrival to their bank accounts. Others are planning overseas/interstate holidays with the stimulus package as the budget for the trip.

That’s all good and well, but as Christians how should we be ‘spending’ our stimulus package? As Christians we should know and understand that any money that we own is ultimately God’s money as He was the one who enabled and provided jobs for us to work. We’ve been called to be good stewards of all that He’s blessed us with – Grace, Love, Truth, Money.

There are so many needs and places to be generous both in and outside the church, just looking at our building alone reveals a growing deficit in our offering figures, and our growing congregation warrants a need for an associate pastor to help share the ministerial load with our current pastor.

With all this in mind, how generous are we being with His money? How will you be using your ‘K-Rudd stimulus package’?

Gethsemane Experience

2009-04-11T02:33:00.002+10:00

I'm physically exhausted, but spiritually refreshed ! I was greatly encouraged by all who came along to church tonight for something that I believe we've never done before ... a large scale prayer meeting (I don't quite like that word, but more on that next time).

At the start, being human and doubting God's power, I was worried that nobody would come, because we'd not heard from many people attending. But slowly and steadily people started to arrive at the church and by 10pm I counted at least 10 heads !! After Pastor Mun shared from Matthew 21 on the happenings at Gethsemane prior to Jesus' betrayl, we launched into prayer time. Given the healthy turn out (At peak, we had about 15-20 people gathered !!), we split off into four groups to pray for - The Church, The World, Missions and Specific needs and people. We studied the prayer points, thought of others and got stuck into crying out to God. I can't seem to find the words to describe how it was, but in short, more than 2 hours passed before I knew it, and I'd only been to 2 of the areas ~ Time really goes by quickly when you're fervently praying to God and crying out to Him.

I'm greatly encouraged by tonight, it was so encouraging to see those who came along tonight, many whom I didn't expect to see, it was a little discouraging to see people I'd expected to come not there tonight, but I truely believe that this is the beginning of a greater prayer movement and that God is mobilising our church to become a more prayerful church. We're not perfect, but we're humbly asking God to change us where required.

Bunnies and Eggs

2009-04-08T01:23:00.004+10:00

We’ve come to the time of Easter again, and I felt it only right to spend some time reflecting upon what Easter really means, because clearly it isn’t about bunnies and eggs.

Reading the bible, we find that around this time some 2000 years ago, a certain Jewish carpenter had triumphantly entered the ‘Holy City’ Jerusalem, sold by his friend for a handful of silver pieces and was nailed to a roman cross. Some may be wondering just who was this man? If you haven’t worked it out by now the chorus line from ‘No Other Name’ by Emu sings it loud and clearly:

For no other name in heaven and earth
Is higher than this name
Each knee shall bow, all nations fall down
Before no other name
Than Jesus!

Easter is all about Jesus, it’s a day that all Christians should spend time remembering what Jesus has done for us on the cross. Without Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, we wouldn’t be gathered together on a Sunday morning to sing songs and to listen to sermons preached from the bible.

Somewhere along the lines the world has gotten it all wrong. Recently I was having a conversation with a friend while driving when we saw a huge billboard advertising ‘Easter things’, covered with bunnies and eggs. My friend then pointed out how sad it was that Easter had just become a meaningless commercial event in the calendar.

To the world around us, Easter simply means chocolate bunnies, eggs and some public holidays. What does Easter mean to you ?

神啊救救我吧!

2009-04-05T23:52:00.001+10:00

... yes this is a cry for help !

#223 - No controversy, no comment

2009-03-31T22:48:00.002+10:00

Must be the case ~

in anycase, life has been pretty rough but God is looking after me !

More than Useless

2009-03-28T23:27:00.003+10:00

More than a few times these past couple of weeks I've really felt down, alone and very unmotivated, but upon reflection and slowing down, I've come to remember and understand that I'm really not alone, I have a loving Father, merciful savior who promises so much more !

Talking to my good brother MW just now, I was encouraged and reminded of a band Relient K and one of their songs in particular ... with the same title as this post. Check out the lyrics for yourself and see what u think !

Thank You God for using the brothers and sisters around me to remind me of the important thing in life !

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trivial, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once